8. MIND AND THE ORIGIN OF THOUGHT

Continuing on the summarizing through excerpts from “Talks and Dialogues” JD Krishnamurti.

What is the mind? Is it conscious? It thinks, it has the whole background of time, it reacts according to its conditioning, it is the store house of memory. This is what has been told to us. But to really find out what is mind, we need to be in a state of meditation – not meditation according to some system or method. But the meditation of a mind that is free to look, to observe, a mind that is extraordinarily quiet.

When you observe your own mind – is there an observer which can examine? If I were to examine a microphone, to see how it works, I must take it to pieces and see what is inside it. But looking at this whole field of consciousness – which is the mind (brain, nerves, whole store of memories, etc), is there in fact an entity which can look at it, examine it? Is there an entity separate from the thought it examines? And if there is a separate entity, then is that not invented by thought, and therefore part of the mind and not separate at all, hence not able to find out what the mind is? How then is one to find out what the mind is, without that separate entity, the observer?

If I want to know what my mind is, all its reactions, thoughts, motives, pursuits, ideas and dogmas – which are all part of me. When I say to myself, “I must look, find out the origin of thought, the beginning”, then is that “I” separate from the thing it is going to look at, examine, observe, therefore capable of looking objectively. If not, then this “I” who observes this totality of consciousness which we call the mind, is not separate then how is it to find out, or be aware of, this total state which is called the mind.

What is it to be aware? When we are aware of the wind, the sun, the room, the door, is there in that awareness a separate entity which says, “I am aware of these things”? Is all consciousness limited? Is it possible to experience that which is beyond the limitations of the consciousness, and then who is the entity which will experience this?

Is there an observer, who says “I love”? And does that mean love? And when we say love, is there a complete absence of the observer? If the observer is not absent, then that love becomes hate, jealousy, pain anxiety, guilt- all which is not love. It all becomes desire and pleasure.

Coming back to being aware – it is very important to find out what we mean by being attentive. When you look at the blue sky in the morning, seeing the whole depth and height of the sky, when you are aware of all that, do you say – “I am aware” or is there only an awareness of all that, without the observer, though you see it with your eyes. That very seeing, without creating the observer, is to be totally aware.

When you look at your husband or wife, are you aware of the image which you have created about the wife or the husband? Or are you directly aware of her actually, without the observer? This is much more difficult than looking at the sky, river or the tree. Because they do not intimately touch my feelings, my reactions, but when I have lived with somebody for a number of years, I have created an image about that person, and that person has an image about me. Here, when we say there is a center which observes, there is a division and hence a conflict. Where there is conflict, there is no awareness at all. To be free of conflict, one has to become aware and do so without creating another center which is aware of the image that I have created about myself or about another.

So we see that thought has its origin, its beginning, in consciousness in which there is the division between the observer and the observed. How will you find out for yourself, how any thought begins? In order to find out anything, you mind must be quiet! It should be free of all the prejudices, chatters, dialogues, images etc. And then because there is freedom and quiet, in that state there can be observation - the observation of the beginning of thought. If there is awareness of the beginning of thought, then there is no need to control thought.

One can see the beginning of thought, only when there is silence in the mind, not through control, discipline or various forms of meditation but naturally. It is only in silence, that I can discover anything. But this silence cannot be cultivated, it cannot be put together by thought. Because if it is put together by thought, then it is dead, it is stagnation. When thought puts anything together there is always conflict. To understand all this, the mind needs to be extraordinarily alive and alert, it no longer stores up every discovery, and is a light to itself without any experience. It is only when the mind goes beyond this individual and social consciousness that there is a possibility of being a light to oneself which never goes out.

Most of us crave experience, whether going to the moon or drugs, mystical experience, religious experience, sexual experience and the experience of having a great deal of money, power, position, domination etc. We do this because our life is so shallow, so empty, so insufficient. We think that without experiences the mind becomes dull, stupid, heavy. That is why we read books, go to museums, concerts, rituals, churches, entertainment – every form of experience. But we never ask what is involved in this experiencing. Every experience demands recognition, else it is not experience. But to recognize it as an experience, I must have already known. Which means it is not new at all.

So the fundamental truth is that mind is always seeking, craving, searching for wider, deeper experience, but such a mind is shallow because it lives always with its memories, with its recognitions, but what is remembered, recognized is not the new. We all crave experience because the challenge makes us feel alive. If we didn’t have any experiences, we would be asleep. We depend on experiences to keep us awake. But this dependence, like every other dependence, makes our mind dull. Is it possible to be totally and completely awake (not just peripherally at a few points of my being) without these challenges and experiences? There is nothing new in these experiences.  But there is no experiencing in silence and one may wonder how is it possible to act in this world if the mind is really quiet, silent? Is it possible to function in this world with this sense of silence?

We all have certain functions – jobs which demands accumulated information as knowledge. But if my mind is living in this state of silence, can it function in these circumstances. When we ask this question, we are separating silence from action – it is a wrong question. When there is silence in the mind, we can function in our jobs and everything else. It will be like the drum which is highly tuned, and when you strike it, it gives the right note, but it is always empty, silent. It doesn’t say, “I am silent” or “How am I to function in the office”

The same goes for love. When we say “I love you, this, that”, what does it mean? Religious people around the world have divided love into the profane and the sacred and so on. Is love desire? – for most of us love is desire and pleasure – of the experience, of possession, attachment, fulfilment through people and other things like nation, God, religion etc. We call that love and for that love we kill others in jealousy, hatred etc. But is that love? Is possession, domination, dependence, seeking of satisfaction, pleasure, comfort, companionship – all escapes from myself – are these love?

Or does love lie beyond this turmoil of thought. If we say that, then we are worried about our family, our nation- what will happen to them – we must have security. If we ask this question, then we are never outside the consciousness, outside our mind. Only when we are out of our consciousness, our mind is silent and observing, can it understand what love is. Love is when there is no thought, no tomorrow and therefore no time. It easy to listen to this, but to actually go beyond thought, beyond time (time is thought and thought is sorrow) – to go beyond is to be aware that there is a different dimension called love. From there one can act, one can be.

Then one asks, what is beauty? Is the object beautiful or does it lie in the eye of the beholder? Or is beauty when there is no object or observer, but when the observer and the observed have been totally abandoned? This can only be in total austerity, but not the austerity of the priest with its harshness, with its sanctions, rules and obedience. But Austerity means simplicity, not in ideas, clothes or behaviour but being totally simple, which is complete humility. Therefore there is never a climbing – therefore there is never an achievement – therefore there is no ladder to climb. There is only the first step and it is an everlasting step.