A very famous line
from a very famous play written by a very famous person. Oh, what depth one can
find in this line. It is one of the major agonies I face …many times in the
path of life, in different forms.
I am a great believer
of positive thinking. Yes, I do believe that if you really really want
something, you would get it. You just have to wish for it, be happy as if you
have already received you wish and be thankful. That’s all it takes for you to
have anything. However, I have recently
managed to confuse myself quite a lot with this sort of thinking. It has led to
a stage where I began wondering about what to be and how to be, and whether to
be at all or not to be. J
Let me try to explain myself.
The realization that
you can be anything you want brings along with it great responsibility. It is
like becoming the prime minister of India now. There are so many challenges and
things to set right – a daunting task. I am not being negative at all. I am just
talking about how things work out in reality. When I was a child, everytime I read
about anything interesting – a hobby, profession, new places or cruisine – I would
instantly tell myself – “I will do this”. So before I reached my late teens, I
had decided to be a teacher, a photographer, a journalist, traveler, social
service person and a marine – depending on what I have been reading or watching
then. Most new things appealed to me a lot. And I believed I could be any of those things. Nothing looked impossible to
me.
Now, this is common. All children are similar;
you would say. Fortunately or unfortunately, in my case, I haven’t changed at
all. Even as an adult nearing the mid life mark, I still get extremely attracted
to new things. Right now I would love to be a great cook – cordon bleu level,
bake gorgeous confectionary, stitch and design clothes like a fashion designer,
be an avid traveler and take pictures like in National Geographic, be a very
successful businessperson, make money like Warren buffet, write like PG
Wodehouse ….and the list goes on. And even now I believe I can be any of those
things. In fact I believe in it more now than as a child.
Then where is the
confusion – you would ask. Well, the challenge here is discipline…continuity…I
have actually managed to get started on a lot of things I wanted to do in life.
In fact, if I made a checklist of all my wishes on what I want to be, you would
find half hearted ticks on all of them. Yes, half hearted ticks. That is the
problem. I have never followed them through. I get started on a many different
things – work, hobbies, habits, interests, etc. But have rarely ever continued
them beyond a few days or months. How would I be good at any of them? That is
quite unsatisfactory a position, if you ask me. Especially when it is in things
which matter – like work, food , exercise, humor etc. I have reached a stage,
where I have begun to wonder whether it
makes any sense to do anything at all; if I am going to leave it just after
getting started. Why bother at all?
Hence my confusion – what to be and if ever to be at all? I have been looking for an answer many days
now. Is it out there? Can anyone tell me?
Just don’t tell me I cant
do it all. Leonardo did it, why cant I?…Da Vinci of course…not Caprio ;)
