GETTING BACK

So its been a long long time since I have paid any attention to this blog. A baby, another bout of PPD, a shift to a new country and everyday struggles of bringing up two kids - this is what happened to me. Meanwhile life has been good. Being busy and happy does not really inspire me to write (I doubt it ever inspires anyone to write)

Let me see, I have always gotten to writing when I have

       Been very upset
Lots of thoughts through my mind - writing works to clear it all
New experiences
Read some inspiring/interesting things
So bored, that writing gives me something to do
Improve my writing skills - so that when I do write well, I would get compliments from my friends (who doesnt like a compliment)

Hmm, so the past year or so, I have not experienced any of the above (not to count having a second baby - that changes the family emotional/financial/time/attention scenario very much). Hence the hiatus in blogging.

Did I mention that I moved to another country? Yes, we would be spending the next few months in the United States of America, and I am so excited with the new kind of living I see here. So I guess you would be reading a lot about that here from now!! Will keep posting, you guys keep commenting (only encouraging ones please!!)

WHY DO WE HAVE KIDS?

Why do we have children? No, its not an exasperated question asked at the end of a long and tiresome day..Neither do I mean to question the scientific or psychological reasons here. Not trying to dig deep but asking a simple, uncomplicated question - what makes us decide to give birth to little persons? I guess its because we want to bring more happiness and love in our life These tiny people fill up our days with beautiful wonder and sweet love. We want to add this experience to our lives - voluntarily!!! Then why does parenting seem like a chore to most of us on a daily basis? I hear parents constantly complaining about their children and reprimanding them through the day.

Dont get me wrong. I am no different. Most days go by with the usual running around, giving them instructions, scoldings, threats and cajoling them to do just one thing the way I want. When I am not rushing my little ones through their meals, baths, games and homework, I ignore them, wanting a little peace of mind. Add to that my often unsuccessful and sometimes harsh methods to discipline them or get them to behave. 

My biggest anxiety on any given day is that I get to finish my work before one of them demands me. Which means I too, am rushing through things all the time. Even while writing this!! The stress of it all!!! And in the few minutes I get to myself, I would rather browse my phone as a distraction to my brain rather than play with them. I have seen many parents just like me. And I am beginning to wonder, how does this attitude match up with the purpose of having children? If I wanted to have children shouldn't I be enjoying my time with them, instead of going through it like a chore which needs to be done:

A. Feed - check

B. Bath - check

C. Homework - check

D. Get ready for school/bed - check

E. Take them to park - check….

Amidst all this there is barely any time when we all just sit and cuddle or talk to each other!!! Of course there are moments of love - kisses, hugs and praises I shower on them. But shouldn't it be the other way around? More love and attention, and just a few moments of disciplining and serious talks?

In my defense, (and every parent) I have to say that parenting is exhausting and you do get overwhelmed with the little one’s demands, whining, crying and all that noise. There is just so much they need from you all the time. I do not know any blessed parents whose children play on their own, eat on their own, clean up on their own! (thank god that my kids haven't yet reached the age where their education becomes a primary concern).

They say you do not know the value of some things when you have it. Right now, my kids are in the age where they still love to hug, kiss and play with me. Pretty soon they would move on to friends an other people. Maybe then I would realise how much I would miss their dependence on me which I get so irritated with right now.

I write this more to remind a busy and tired and overwhelmed ‘me’, to remember the reason behind these kids in my life. Might keep things in perspective!!!!