DECISIONS

 I watched the Dead Poet’s Society yesterday, again. The last time I saw it, I was in college. It had left a very strong impression in my mind. Carpe Diem! Seize the day. It remained a persistent and romantic theme in all these years since. 

This is about decisions and how they make you feel. This is about Neil. Can you imagine a young seventeen year old, all fresh and excited about life. He is very good – in academics and socially. But more important is his courage. His friends are brave too, but he is a natural leader. When he proposes, to reconvene the Dead Poet’s Society, he does not bother to convince them. He knows; the thrill of doing something dangerous and completely against the rules would be enough to bring his friends along. They convince themselves! It is so refreshing to watch them. They love every moment of their meetings. Not because they were breaking the rules. But they were doing something for themselves, reading and writing poetry for themselves. Otherwise, their lives were governed by authorities, who were determined that they spent every moment in bettering themselves academically, for the future where they would become bankers, doctors and lawyers.

Then comes the day when Neil’s courage is tested. He can’t speak against his father who wants him to focus on becoming a doctor. While his hearts wants to do something else. “I am trapped” he says to his teacher. He is just so young. Dependent on his parents for everything, especially for approval. He feels suffocated in his father’s dreams, and by his own desires. What does he do? He chose out of life. You might think that he choose an easy way out. But can you imagine how trapped he must have felt? To be so good at something he loved, but knowing that there is no chance of it in the present or future. It is rare for people to discover what they like to do, and even rare to find themselves good at it. And here he was, with his glorious discovery, only to find that the doors are shut for him. I repeat, he was just a kid. He didn’t give himself the time to find out how things actually happen. He just chose out.

But imagine how calm he must have felt after taking that last final decision. He wasn’t trapped anymore. Nothing could touch him or hurt him now. He was free from his own desires and those of others. He didn’t need approval for his last action; he wasn’t bothered about the repercussions. Can you imagine that freedom? Death can be liberating.

What if instead, life was like this? If we could feel so liberated in life too?