“And it would be great if she has an off beat job....not a routine one but one which involves going to nice exotic locations”, said Raj. Shailu laughed at him. There were discussing the kind of girls suitable for him. Though friends from childhood, they had never come upon this topic untill recently, when he had started to feel that he was old enough to get married. As he had no girlfriend, he had to rely on matrimonial sites to look for the person of his dreams. They were discussing the list of “requirements” in the girl while this particular one turned up. Raj added “ But most travel based jobs involve going to same drab locations and staying in bland hotels”. “ Of course not” She quipped. “What about those working in National Geographic?”. This time Raj laughed out loud. “ What are the chances of finding an Indian, that too a girl, working in the National Geographic?”
Shailu remained silent. It triggered some very troubled emotions in her. She remembered something she had buried so deep inside her that she had forgotten about it. It was about how she had imagined her life should be when she was much younger. Shailu sighed, not bothering to reply to Raj....Soon she was lost in her thoughts. As a child she had loved reading and watching English films. They opened her to a new world, very different from where she was living. In that world people had higher goals in life – not just living for food, shelter and safety through bank deposits. Her father would add to her enthusiasm by telling her to aim higher, do different things in life. Every dinner conversations used to be about different professions she could follow, or places she could see or things she could do.
As she grew into her teens midst this environment, a pattern emerged in her thinking. She noticed that she loved to read about nature, be in nature, specifically the wild. Slowly as she gained more and more knowledge about nature, she became passionate about it. She wanted to work on the conservation of the wild. That was what she wanted to dedicate her life to. But she didn’t want to be an activist or work with an NGO. She wanted to be in it, be a part of nature, while working towards it. But she was too young, didn’t know how could she go about it. One fine day she discovered the National Geographic. It was then that she became clear on how she could do her bit on conservation of nature, without being an activist. She became quite keen on joining it, wanting to make her career in it. She kept researching on it and dreaming about it. She got to know of other such big organizations which were doing great work in conservation of wild life, but she remained focused on NGC for quite some time.
Maybe it was the adventure of exploration, of venturing into the forests, observing life at its most basic…She couldn’t really make out what appealed to her about this life, but she was obsessed with it. She imagined a life full of travels to different places, spending days under the canopy of trees, nights in chilly deserts, sleeping in tents, coming back to civilization only to make reports, documentaries and buying supplies. It all looked incredibly romantic and novel to her.
“Where and how did all that passion go?” – wondered Shailu. Did it all get buried under peer pressure and the need to succeed as people normally define? Today she is a well-qualified woman, working in a multinational organization. She lives in a modern city, has her own house, car and bank balance. She travels abroad for holidays. She has a loving husband, and two beautiful children. Everything which anyone wanted. But not she. She had always wanted something else - a life of travel, adventure, new places and new things. Instead she had taken the well known path as everybody. She can never leave this path now or ever – due to her family. However, if she had chosen that other path – the one she wanted, she couldn’t have had this wonderful family..and the amazing luxury she was living in. How would that have been? Could she have lived that life? Wouldn’t she have felt lonely and incomplete without a family?...Was she really made out for the grueling life in wild...Phew….both sides had its boons and sacrifices. How does one choose? Especially when the chance presents itself at a tender age – when you are young and inexperienced. When you do not know the value of achievements, dreams or the need for love and support from a family….
“Where are you” quipped Raj. Shailu sighed and replied that she had to a meeting, ending that conversation. She was too lost in her thoughts to have a meaningful conversation about life partners. As she walked to get a cup of coffee, she kept pondering over her choice of life. She knew that she gave up her dreams to be a regular person – for family,comfort and money. Though she would be perennially looking for a bigger sense of purpose in her life, she is absolutely sure that she was on the right path. If she had chosen the other path, she would have missed this one badly!! She loved her family and home too much. But right now, the choice she had made didn’t trouble her as much as another question – Should she induce such dreams and thoughts in her children like her father did? Should she encourage them to pursue their “different” dreams - knowing that life could be hard and lonely there, but more fulfilling and satisfying? Or should she tell them about the sacrifices one has to make to their dreams come true - which she never made? What picture should she paint for her beautiful children?
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