The mother in the family is the person who decides the tone, the mood of the entire family. If she is happy, everyone is happy. If she is serious, it is very difficult for the rest of the family to be happy and cheerful! I wonder why?
I saw it in my house in my childhood. My mother was very serious and industrious. There was always a lot of work, and she never found the time to relax or ‘just chill’ with us. There was always something to do around the house. If there was nothing, she could hunt out a chore with the speed at which a mouse can find cheese! There were very few moments of joy or fun. And when they were there, it felt as if it was a gift! Something unique and special. The atmosphere at our house was quiet, with a tension hanging in the air. I remember all the times I pretended to study to avoid doing the never ending list of chores.
I observed the same with my mother in law. Just as work defined my mother, fear defines my mother in law. She is a unique combination of fear and positivity, which made her a defiant devotee. A huge part of her life is determined by religious rituals and auspicious dates and times and it is bound to trickle or rather pour down on the family. This ensured that free moments were spent in either planning or executing some rituals/traditions or visits to temples.
Now I define the mood in my family. The girls and husband get to have fun only if I am in a good mood. I try my best to not have this kind of influence on them. But it seems impossible. If I am low, everyone is so quiet. My girls would tiptoe around me or try to cheer me up in ways they know. My husband would make my favourite dish or crack dad jokes to cheer me up. I wish they would leave me alone, and not spoil their day. When I am pissed, everyone gets a dose of my sarcasm – no exceptions. It sends everyone running around clearing up surfaces or throws them into their own temper tantrums. And if I am cheerful, the house is filled with noise, laughter, excitement and music.
I never knew that we play such an important rule. This is raw power in the hands of the woman/mother of the family. A power which we should use with discretion and ensure the kind of memories our family would hold close to its heart. Will keep that in mind.
So true and so real! Also having been someone who sought rescue from studies to escape the seriousness in the air, during childhood, I am glad this dimension is highlighted here.
ReplyDeleteThis is the emotional nurturing a mother does in her role as a Family Head, which is definitely more than cooking and feeding the physical body.
Even our Indian traditions highlight how the importance of happiness of the "Lakshmi of the house" brings abundance to a family. Abundance meaning not just money, but also peace, composure and stability.
But alas, this critical point is missed most times in the social /transactional structures and we see what we see around us.